afineseamstress: (Drifting.)
[personal profile] afineseamstress
He loses track of time again.

The room is well lit, loud beyond the door and bustling with activity when doctors or nurses enter, but Aramis drifts. In that damnable basement, his only knowledge of passing minutes was the degree of his own thirst, and here in his bed, he can only count the continued ease of his breaths, and the pass of familiar calloused fingers over his own knuckles where his hands lie in the sheets.

There is some sort of brace on one of his wrists. Aramis has not yet recovered the nerve to ask if his hand can still pull a trigger, even if he could speak without effort. His head is too heavy to turn away from the sight, and Aramis shifts his eyes, fighting sleep to discern the new shape in the door.

He hopes it belongs to someone without a clipboard.

[open post if the spirit moves you]

Date: 2015-06-28 01:40 pm (UTC)
du_vallon: (what the fuuuuck)
From: [personal profile] du_vallon
Porthos sets his jaw tightly and eases closer to Aramis and maybe he feels it, maybe he can feel Porthos start to get desperate as his eyes go hot with tears. "So, what, you're going to leave us because you don't think you deserve the love and affection that we choose whether you deserve?"

Date: 2015-06-28 03:29 pm (UTC)
du_vallon: (handsome)
From: [personal profile] du_vallon
Calming somewhat, Porthos lets the tension bleed out of his body. This isn't Aramis trying to get away from them, but Porthos still thinks that there are better ways to cope with this than by telling Porthos he doesn't deserve to be loved. "Did you ever go see the priest?" he asks quietly.

Date: 2015-06-28 03:54 pm (UTC)
du_vallon: (listening)
From: [personal profile] du_vallon
Porthos doesn't like hearing that there's more, but he nods wordlessly, swallowing and trying to push the fear down into his gut where he can ignore it completely rather than let it completely consume him. "What is it?" he prompts quietly.

Date: 2015-06-28 04:12 pm (UTC)
du_vallon: (wall press)
From: [personal profile] du_vallon
Aramis is right to look away because Porthos reacts with an instant flinch of pain, the fear compounding into something even worse than before as he listens to the news of what happens at home. He sits up in the hospital bed, needing to move, and he gets up to pace the length of the bed in front of Aramis, closing his eyes tightly to think that any version of him is losing Aramis.

"You can't," is all he gets out, choked. "Why?"

Date: 2015-06-28 04:26 pm (UTC)
du_vallon: (dangerous)
From: [personal profile] du_vallon
Porthos starts up his pacing again as he thinks on the things that Aramis has valued above the rest of them -- the Queen first, then the baby, and now God. He sinks into the visitor's chair by the door, unsure how to process all of this when he feels like Aramis is slipping away from him bit by bit with every new memory.

"I don't give a damn," Porthos says sharply. "You fail us, by leaving us it's just cowardly," he shouts, voice growing louder. "If you really wanted to repent your sins, you should have stayed and fought."

Date: 2015-06-28 04:51 pm (UTC)
du_vallon: (wearing the hubby's sash)
From: [personal profile] du_vallon
There are all these words that Porthos doesn't understand and while he's still brimming with rage, the nurse makes him freeze as she implies that he could do Aramis worse harm. He breathes out shakily and nods his confirmation that he'll behave, fighting back the tears that don't quite go away. Porthos trudges back to the chair closest to the bed and sinks into it, burying his face in both hands.

He honestly doesn't know what to do anymore and he wants for Athos, who always seems to know what to do in these situations. "Stop thinking of ways to leave us," he finally mumbles past his hands, still unable to properly look at Aramis.

Date: 2015-06-28 05:03 pm (UTC)
du_vallon: (bandanna from the front)
From: [personal profile] du_vallon
"I love you too," Porthos promises, dragging his hands away from his face so he can reach the both of them out to clasp hold of Aramis', knowing he wants to offer him as much support as he possibly can. He swallows as he thinks of losing Aramis to God or the Queen or death and they all make him dizzy. Dizzy with loss and he can only imagine how he'd felt back home, when he actually had lost his best friend.

"And I'm not letting you go. You made vows to me," he points out. "God knows you're taken, here."

Date: 2015-06-28 05:17 pm (UTC)
du_vallon: (sleeping)
From: [personal profile] du_vallon
"I don't want to hurt you and she said you were ta-tach," Porthos struggles with the word before he shrugs and gives up, crawling slowly from his chair, dismantling the railings of the bed to lower them and climb in, avoiding all the wires and contraptions until he's pressed up against Aramis' side, arms loosely holding him. "I couldn't sleep," he admits.

"Athos kept saying I needed to, for my health, but without you there, I couldn't," he confesses.

Date: 2015-06-29 01:14 am (UTC)
du_vallon: (listening)
From: [personal profile] du_vallon
Porthos thinks that feels like a very long time ago, and also that he was only bruised where Aramis seems like he's broken in nearly all ways. He inhales deeply and rubs at his eyes, shifting and wishing he could drape a leg over Aramis' waist to draw ever closer, but knows the man needs his room. "Why is your heart so rapid?" he asks quietly, a touch fearful of what the answer might be.

Date: 2015-06-29 01:28 am (UTC)
du_vallon: (investigate)
From: [personal profile] du_vallon
Porthos moves his hand now, sliding his open palm over Aramis' heart to begin gently rubbing in circles as he might a newborn child, gentle and cautious and wary. His brow is furrowed constantly, now, a fear of what might have happened to Aramis under his skin as always. "How do you make it better?" he asks.

Date: 2015-06-29 01:44 am (UTC)
du_vallon: (questioning)
From: [personal profile] du_vallon
"How long do you have to stay here for it to work?" He hadn't had time to talk to one of the doctors about Aramis' condition because he's refused to leave his side, but now he regrets that because he thinks he wants to get Aramis home as soon as he can, where he and Athos don't have to take things in turn.

Date: 2015-06-29 01:59 am (UTC)
du_vallon: (soft eyes)
From: [personal profile] du_vallon
"Then I won't move from your side for another day or more," Porthos says, already bound and determined not to let anyone get in between him and Aramis. He curls in with him stubbornly, still weary from the search and aching from carrying Aramis, and his eyes are red and dry with the tears. "All that time in the ambulance, I kept thinking we were about to lose you. They weren't very confident they'd get you here in time," he admits, wringing the sheets in his hands.

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afineseamstress: (Default)
René d'Herblay, alias Aramis

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